Thursday, August 11, 2011

What do you guys think of my first book chapter? (ITS ONLY THE BEGINNING) It doesn't have much of a story yet)?

I would take out "in a matter-of-fact way" or replace it with "in a cocky manner" which will make the person talking sound less sophisticated and more childish. Other than that i think its pretty good, also i might change the reason the parents died from "In a fire" to something like "They got mugged and shot" but i don't know if its just me or what because ive read a few books where people have died in fires.

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